Edict #8: John Green Fans, Don’t Read This
I would never have written this essay on John Green, opinionated YouTuber historian wannabe, if he hadn’t attacked my beloved Italy’s Renaissance brilliance. But, he did, and now, in my opinion someone has to call out this shallow charlatan of a historian for rewriting the truth not just about Italy, but a long list of other historically great times where humanity did things right. Or wrong. In my opinion, just because you’re glib, capable of witty snark, and kind of entertaining, doesn’t make you right about history. It just means you can write about history just like Mountain Dew makes pop—throw in as much unnatural sugar and double the caffeine and people won’t even notice the lack of substance. In fact, as a recovering Mountain Dew addict myself; I know for a fact that, if the sugar content works, consumers will mindlessly pound the table for more despite the toxins hidden in the mix.
Before we go any further, I know that John Green is far more than a history buff gone viral. He’s actually a talented writer who most recently received some notoriety for his book The Fault in Our Stars. Yes, like any girl, I keeled over at his words like “It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by someone like you.” And who wouldn’t press rewind when his main male character describes the girl he loves as “if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”
Go ahead and blackout at some of his poetry and prose because “yes,” I agree he can write convincing lines of lyrics. But then, turn on the reality check meter because once you read a few books about places you care about and travel to them a little, you’ll quickly realize that just because a person can string pretty phrases together doesn’t mean he gets to repackage history and sell it as anything more than stand-up infotainment.
My introduction to Mr. Green started out badly in October, 2014. I’d not really heard of him before I was shown some clips featuring him explaining who the people were that wrote the U.S. Constitution. At first, I found him to be a pretty funny, fast talking American who had his own unique view of history. It wasn’t until he uttered these words that I literally remember choking on my pop, sat up, jaw slack as he chortled with a smile:
“…because just to be clear none of these dudes were not racist!”
-John Green, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO7FQsCcbD8
Seriously? Did he just say that the Founding Fathers were racists, I thought to myself? I pressed rewind just to make sure—three times. I was shocked into laughter only to be appalled that he was serious. And yet, I said nothing to anyone. What’s the point? He has his opinions, I have mine.
Of course, I did rant about it for the next two days. Sure, the Founding Fathers didn’t get the slavery question right. At all. But, I wouldn’t say that boxing them into today’s political climate is fair and a good reason to throw shade on their otherwise extraordinary accomplishments…especially on Constitution Day.
But acting smoothly like he’s too cool to be bothered if the Renaissance of the Italians was really “A Thing” (his words) and then indirectly belittling the accomplishments of those Italian artists with backhanded comedy was too much for me to hear. I most definitely would defend the dead artists. In fact, I would happily starve daily if it meant I’d get to hang out with the living Michelangelo, among others. Nobody gets to attack Italy’s accomplishments in my presence. I’ve been there, studied it since I can remember, and for the last year or so wished I could live there. Everything you’ve heard about Italian art, their people, their music and their food…let me assure you it’s indescribably even better than what TV and books can tell you about it. By the time you finish walking through the Sistine Chapel, have dinner with real Italians, and get an opportunity to reflect on the genius of the Renaissance men you’ll feel just like I do.
Unless, of course, you’re John Green. This is what he had to say:
“Furthermore, I’m going to argue that the Renaissance didn’t even necessarily happen!”
And then he goes on to say:
“Italy was primed for the Renaissance because it had exactly one thing: money.”
-John Green, ‘The Renaissance: Was It a Thing’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vufba_ZcoR0
It was at this point that I couldn’t barely even stand it anymore as he basically said that money was the only reason that the Renaissance happened in Italy instead of someplace else. I had to whip out the keyboard or frankly go crazy in silence. So if I understand Mr. Green, Michelangelo and his buds (who Green imputes to really be the equivalent of religious freaks on steroids because they like to paint the Mother of Jesus…’over and over and over’) aren’t really brilliant…they just have rich friends that made them look brilliant.
Am I the only one who thinks a bag of money can’t accomplish what the Medici family built out of hard work, or how the Roman Catholic Church basically salvaged Western Civilization under candlelight? What? Did the Italians simply have money trees in addition to the ones that sprouted olives and a few vines with a grape or two? How about all the great cuisine? Did that just sprout on trees and land on a plate too? No hard work needed?
That’s right, if you have a bag of money, you surely didn’t work hard to get it. You just happen to be…I don’t know, what would you call it…lucky?
It was at this point that I wanted to find out what else Mr. Green thought didn’t happen. Since he acknowledges he likes to go to the jugular first in order to stir the controversial pot, I thought I would google his history course that covers The Holocaust. What did Mr. Green think of it?
“Today we are going to talk about World War II…finally a war in color film!”
-John Green, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q78COTwT7nE
Yeah. Great start Mr. Green. I’m sure my great grandfather who was at Dachau, a Jewish concentration camp, would appreciate that one liner as he freed the Jews from the horrific suffering of a Nazi encampment. What else you got?
“I’m sure you have heard about the war from the incessant groaning of your grandparents.”
-John Green, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q78COTwT7nE
Incessant groaning? I never felt more loved than when I sat at my great-grandparents’ feet. He then goes on to minimize the hate thrown at the Jews as merely a plan to help feed the German people. If you believe what Mr. Green implies, the Jews were not targeted by the Nazis. They were just there among others, and needed to be removed so that Germans could have more resources.
Get the picture yet? Green not only minimizes greatness, but occasionally he minimizes the horrific.
Don’t believe me yet? Here’s some more.
Anyone think Alexander the Great wasn’t great until after he was dead? In his video on the Grecian Hero, John Green thinks so. He even contradicts himself by first saying that Alex the Great wasn’t good at building things, but was great at leveling and destroying things. Then, he goes on to list all the cities that this real Greek Titan was responsible for building. Let’s take a vote after you watch this YouTube video found here. Oh wait, I can’t show that one because quite honestly it should probably have a rating on it for “K” meaning for Kardashian—yep, she makes an animated appearance for what she is best known for.
Instead, maybe you’d like to check out the video where he says the dark ages weren’t that bad because people didn’t die in a lot of wars during that time period. What? I think I hear dead peasants rolling over in their unmarked battlefield graves. Here’s the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QV7CanyzhZg After you watch it, then go read this at http://www.thefinertimes.com/Middle-Ages/military-in-the-middle-ages.html for a far more factual piece on how peasants sacrificed liberty and freedom in the name of protection, only to get drafted when the kings they served needed some extra fodder. Pay close attention to one of the opening paragraphs that reads, “In the most basic terms, the feudal system was a class system designed so that everyone contributed to the common welfare and everyone was protected from the trials of war. Those at the bottom, the peasants, performed manual labor, paid dues and levies, and supplied their military services on a regular basis, reporting to a noble or lord.”
I could keep going, and if you’d like me to, ask me a question or two in the comments section below this Edict. I stand by what I write about him, and I’ll be very happy to respond. History, to me, is a collection of some of the greatest nonfiction stories ever told, emphasis on non-fiction. Unfortunately, as Green goes about sifting history facts in order to better twist a tale he’d rather tell, he has also acquired quite an audience. In some classrooms across the United States, he is being treated as the gold standard on history. His short video lectures don’t require debate because they should just be swallowed as the gospel of historical truth. In the process of packaging his version of facts, he is also spreading a lot of his own thinly veiled opinions in what appears to be harmless humor.
Humor can be harmful.
There is nothing harmless about revising history. If we embrace opinions over substance, we risk not knowing our own story, and thus repeating the mistakes of people who died so we wouldn’t make them again. World War II especially sticks out in my mind as an example of that.
Stick to the facts, people, and see John Green for what he is…a good storyteller who can be likened to the Lampwick leading Pinocchio to Toyland. Call me Jiminy Cricket, or anything else you’d like, but I’m writing this to warn us all away from quasi historians hoping to turn us into beached wooden puppets all because we chose infotainment over a good book with some citations.
How exactly does our history read? If we depend on John Green types, the world may never know.